Why and How Forced Conformity Doesn't Work:
Our society is based upon forced conformity. Aristotelian logic which believes that people are meant to be conditioned and written upon like blank chalkboards instead of Socratic logic (which believes the Truth resides within and we simply find resonance with it from the outside) won out.
When people are forced to conform instead of taught to support their inner growth & justice, they are forced to become robots and sacrifice their Truth to become foot soldiers for those in charge. This is the same as having a police state without forced imprisonment for breaking the law. We are still imprisoned, only the bars are not made of iron but SHAME. We are bred to reject ourselves for not conforming. This guilt forces us to obey. These seeds are planted at a very young age and many of us never learn to break free of them and remain conditioned and stunted by them for our entire lives.
DEPRESSION IS A SOCIAL DISEASE AS A RESULT OF SELF-DESERTION CAUSED BY FORCED CONFORMANCE.
When we are forced to conform instead of nurtured to gain understanding and wisdom, we end up feeling empty inside. We end up going through life robotically. We are not motivated from our own sense of values, we are motivated by others. How much fulfillment can their be in working towards other people's goals? This is why so many of us are depressed and fed up with "tradin our hours for a fist full of dimes." It simply doesn't serve us to desert ourselves. We aren't attaining our goals, we're attaining someone else's.
Here are some of the tactics used to get us to conform:
- "You've got an attitude problem!"
Instead of allowing us to speak up against what we perceive as injustices done towards us, we are blamed for having "bad attitudes". This is a way to quickly change the subject and put the blame back on us for our responses to the injustices. Our bosses continually use this one along with "You're not a team player." To shame us into conformity so they can get us to do what they want. They try to get us to think lowly of ourselves which takes the focus off of the injustice so that they don't have to do anything about it and can instead make it our problem. This is akin to blaming the victim for the crime committed against them. Instead of addressing the cause, they blame the symptom.
Eliminate the cause and the symptoms will disappear! If you don't want bad attitudes, stop treating people unjustly. Treating the symptom will not make the cause, and therefore the problem, go away.
- "When are you going to grow up.?"
This one is another invalidating technique used upon us in our youth as a way to belittle us and make us think that we're somehow inferior because we haven't learned to "control ourselves" or our emotions. In order to get us to conform, they capitalize on our desire to reach maturity and insinuate that we are immature and or inexperienced and "lagging behind" in our growth. This is another one of those "competitive games" they get us involved in where we're put into a "race" to "grow up". Their confused idea of "growing up" is to become emotionally dead and learn how to be robots for whatever the industrialists and "leaders" want us to become.
- "For Christ's sake, what's the matter with you?!"
Another invalidating question which gets us to ponder our inferiority which is usually followed up with a quick second invalidating question like "What do you want to do, break that thing?!" Instead of helping us, our parents & teachers scared us into conformity. They frightened us with their rejection and shamed us with ridicule We weren't TAUGHT we were THREATENED!
- "Who do you think you are?!"
For some reason or another, children are not respected as equal human beings. They are looked down upon as sub-standard and taught to abide by "elders" rules no matter how unjust they may be. Once again, this is often used to get us to "conform" and "fit in" with the rest of the group. This group conditioning takes away our individuality so we can be controlled and made into useful "tokens for society's appreciation". I AM NO LONGER WILLING TO BE USED AS A "TOKEN FOR SOCIETY'S APPRECIATION".
Validation of Self means to return to growing whatever it is your creative inner-being WANTS to become. It means once again learning how to LISTEN TO OUR INNER VOICE and start moving in that direction instead of the direction of our fears. It is deciding to follow our inner callings against all odds and start growing the FRUITS we came to planet Earth to develop and share. It's returning to our own paths and exiting the path of conformity.
Great courage is necessary to take the risks to break free of the financial & emotional insecurity that has been seeded into us and kept us conformists all our lives. This is why we need ENCOURAGEMENT and SUPPORT from others and ways to self-validate that will inspire us to continue growing ourselves and not fall back into conformist mode. We can find ways to be true to ourselves without conforming to most of the systems entrapments if we look deep enough and don't give up on ourselves.
THE PRIMARY GOAL NEEDS TO REMAIN BEING TRUE TO OURSELVES AND PERSONAL FREEDOM INSTEAD OF FINANCIAL OR EMOTIONAL SECURITY.
There is no money in the world that can give one the feeling of FREEDOM. To the contrary, it often holds us in bondage constantly needing "more" as our competitive industrialist hoards continue to prove with their compulsive greediness. What we own often holds US hostage. We don't have these things so much as they have us! We become DEPENDANT upon these things as a requirement for personal security. Whatever we need outside ourselves makes us DEPENDANT. We always have the option of changing our values and choosing to be content with what and who we are instead what and who we "own".
People are bound to try to get us to surrender our dedication to our paths by invalidating our efforts and insisting that we "conform". This is the EASY WAY OUT. We are taught that it's "honorable" to conform when in fact it's a "sell-out". We are COWARDS for conforming, not HEROES! We are AFRAID of exile or financial insecurity! This is the only reason we give up on ourselves. We chose "easiness" "security" and "conformity" instead of CREATIVITY, FREEDOM and PERSONAL GROWTH.
When we can learn to AFFIRM ourselves and not need others approval, we have made a great stride! We have then learned and earned our own INDEPENDANCE and don't have to rely on other's approval to feel good about ourselves. We are then free to grow at will!
Financial insecurity in another big way we are bred to conform. Our society keeps telling us "If you don't do this...or if you don't do that..." you won't be able to make it in this world". What does "make it" mean? If it means become addicted to financial success, I don't want any. If it means becoming a cheap hoard, I don't want any. What we need to do is change our definition of what SUCCESS really is. We can choose to be SUCCESSFUL according to different values than what we were taught. We can choose to make attainment of our personal CREATIVITY, GROWTH & FREEDOM our measurement of success. We can STOP working towards goals we don't believe in and give up chasing goals we find are not obtainable or desirable.
Financial success can easily turn out to be an ADDICTION if we keep needing "more" money instead of growing the VIRTUE or product that was our original intent. We get stuck and side-tracked into the whirl-pool of becoming more and more "wealthy". True wealth has nothing to do with money, it has to do with WISDOM and VIRTUE. This is what you will take with you when you leave this planet.....everything you've done & experienced. Money breeds false security - not true wealth. Those who extract the GOLD of understanding and wisdom from experience are the one's who become truly wealthy. They become WISE!